Are you a chronic under earner? Many women suffer from this problem and in society as a whole it seems that our gender is more susceptible to it than men. Recent research has shown that we have two major enemies when it comes to earning what we’re worth: ambiguity and insecurity.
I have a friend who early in her career took a job at a small company as the public relations director. The company explained that it was very small and still rather young, but on the verge of great things. They asked my friend to take an extremely (to be honest ridiculously) small salary “just for the first six months” because they were so small. A year later she was still working at the same really small income, but she’d said nothing because she needed a job with health insurance and she struggled to feel confident about her abilities. After two years, she finally quit. The woman who replaced her was given 4 times the salary she had received and then was granted a raise after six months.
Why? What was the major difference here? Both were highly educated and experienced. The difference was in mindset. My friend didn’t fully understand the company’s situation and was insecure about her abilities meriting the position. She let her desperation for health insurance take center stage rather than her amazing abilities.
You deserve to earn appropriate pay for the work that you do and that begins by valuing yourself. Value your skills and talents because if you don’t, no one else will. So how can you effectively go from under earner to power achiever?
- Deal with your self-doubt. Even the most successful people in the world deal with self-doubt from time to time, so you’re not alone. The important thing is not to allow it to stop you from taking action. Self-doubt is nothing more than an emotional response to faulty beliefs. In other words, it’s a lie. You formed beliefs during childhood and some were healthy and empowering while others were not. The ones that were not empowering are the ones that you need to release. They are based on the people around you when you were growing up and age-appropriate mistakes you may have made that were handled inappropriately. Self-doubt is not real and it is not a reflection of reality in any way, so when you feel it, don’t ignore it. Stop and ask yourself what’s behind it, why it’s faulty, and what new belief can replace it.
- Learn your value. The service you provide has a value. Do your homework and find out what it is. This is one area where self-doubt can take a huge toll on your life because it will cause you to question whether you’re really providing a true service, whether you’re good enough to charge what others are charging, and whether anyone would want to pay YOU for this particular service. So, stop right here and now and listen to this message: You are valuable. You are worthy. You are skilled. You have a right to ask for the appropriate amount of pay.
- Understand the situation. Learn about the company and/or person with whom you will be employed. Remember: knowledge is power! Investigate the norms for that type of work, so that you know what others with similar qualifications are earning. Also, make sure you understand the benefits and the job responsibilities. Get advice on the situation from someone outside of your circle—make sure this person isn’t an under earner, so that you’re getting advice that will take you out of your current situation.
- Practice negotiating. Negotiating is not a natural skill and people who excel at it have practiced it. Before you find yourself in an actual negotiation, get a friend to role play with you. It helps if you can find a friend who isn’t an under earner and who feels comfortable with negotiation. Then play out the negotiation several times. Each time, try out a different approach.
- Understand negotiation. It’s okay if you know nothing about negotiating right now, but you need to take a few proactive steps to learn. Here’s a few standard tips:
- Never be the first to name a number. If pushed to give one try saying, “I consider my salary fully negotiable based on the requirements of the position and the other benefits available.”
- Have a backup plan. You should go into the negotiation with a plan, but have at least one backup in case things start going a different direction.
- Know more than your opponent. This means understanding the job, the company, your skills, and a possible future for the position. For example, if you’re offering consulting services, find out where the company is heading and then plan how your work could assist with that.
- Clearly express who you are. Here’s another area where self-doubt interferes. You need to learn to toot your own horn and be comfortable with that. I’m not talking about being that annoying person who brags endlessly and goes overboard in describing herself. I’m talking about giving a clear, honest, solid assessment, because if you don’t toot your own horn, no one else will. Make it very clear the skills you have to offer and how they will benefit the company. Avoid canned statements that sound like they came from a resume book and be sincere. In fact, be downright excited about who you are and how you can help.
- Be willing to walk away. In order to do this, you need to have more than one potential job on the line. So, when you get that call from the wonderful client CELEBRATE! But then go out and work to get another call. Then you can be confident while you’re negotiating because you are free to walk away.
