Wonder Woman has made a resurgence in popular culture recently. She’s in movies, cartoons, t-shirts, and there’s more to come. She’s been around for more than 75 years, but I bet you can’t guess the real reason she was created? In 1941 she was created by William Marston because he was inspired by early feminists, who faced insurmountable odds in trying to stand up to society expectations. In addition, he thought the women in his own life showed amazing qualities that often went unappreciated by those around them.
Believe it or not, Marston was not a comic book writer. He was a highly-educated psychologist. He created Wonder Woman as a way to challenge society and the limitations placed on women. During his career he saw women constantly downplayed and their confidence undermined. So, it was his intention to show a woman of confidence who could change the world.
Unfortunately, since Marston’s death, Wonder Woman has been in the hands of other comic book writers and his original intent has not always remained, but I mention him here because he felt women deserved to see something amazing when they looked in the mirror and so do I. You deserve to realize you have power and use that power every day. Whenever you’re tempted to shrink back or give in to doubts, instead I challenge you to step up and claim the amazing attributes that are yours.
So, here’s 7 steps to helping you be the amazing, confident wonder woman that you were born to be:
- Recognize your power in every realm. Here I’m talking about taking responsibility for yourself. No one else can make decisions for you and no one else can direct your life without your permission. The only true limitations are the ones you place on your own life. So, when you wake up each day, say to yourself: Where I am today is where my thoughts put me. Where I go tomorrow is where I allow my thoughts to lead me.
- Step out of your comfort zone and act as if. Comfort zones make us feel good in the short term, but in the long-term they make us feel stuck. You may not feel confident initially, but that’s okay. Say yes to something that you’re tempted to back out of and then act as if you’re the bravest, most confident woman in the world. It may be uncomfortable initially, but ignore those feelings because there’s something bigger and better coming in your life! It’s worth feeling some discomfort. The more you act confidently, the more you’ll feel it and the more people will treat you that way. The key is to do it even when you don’t feel it and keep on doing it until it becomes your default.
- Develop a plan and stick with it. Doubt cannot stand up to action. Take a moment and write a description of the life you want to live. Then break it down into smaller goals that will ultimately lead you to that bigger picture. Then break those smaller goals into daily actions. Make them clear, simple and concrete so that you can take the actions even at times when you’re not feeling like doing anything. Those feelings of not wanting to do anything often stem from doubt and since doubt may be a part of your default thinking, it will take time to change things. Keep going! It may help to get support and to reward yourself often after taking actions.
- Find a mentor. Mentors are a great way to learn and get support, both of which greatly increases confidence. Find someone in your field who is doing really well and who is willing to spend time with you. Then schedule regular meetings; for example, you could meet for lunch on the first Monday of each month. Have a set agenda for the meetings, even if it’s a very brief list, so that you can stay focused.
- Give yourself a pep talk. Research has proven that taking a few minutes every morning to directly talk to yourself, can make a big difference in your confidence level throughout the day. Use second person pronouns to distance yourself and tell yourself positive, empowering statements. Again, these might feel a bit awkward at first, but most ultra-successful people state that they do this practice and research has shown it to be highly effective. Push past the awkwardness and don’t stop. You deserve great things.
- Listen to your body. Recent research has proven that even if you don’t feel confident, if you strike a pose used by confident people, your confidence will actually grow! Yes, that’s right! Simply by sitting up straight and spreading out a bit rather than shrinking down you’ll feel more confidence because your body will begin releasing chemicals that are prevalent when a person is confident. Researcher Amy Cuddy found that striking what she calls the “Wonder Woman Stance” (i.e. standing up straight with your legs spread and your fists on your hips) for two minutes actually demonstrates a powerful chemical shift in your body that is healthier and causes you to feel more confident.
- Change the voice of doubt one message at a time. Self-doubt is often on loop in our internal dialogue. It may take time to retrain your brain, but again it can be done and it will change your life. This doesn’t have to be a major undertaking. Simply take note throughout the day of the messages playing in your head. When you hear a negative one, confront it rather than just letting it play. Ask yourself, “What’s behind this thought?” Often, you’ll realize that there’s a faulty belief behind your thoughts. Tell that belief a big NO and then replace it with an empowering thought that serves you. Over time you’ll find fewer and fewer of these negative thoughts.
The key to feeling more confident is knowing that you deserve great things in your life, so nothing can be allowed to block your journey. Look in the mirror and see the amazing wonder woman that you are!
